Don’t know how to support someone with epilepsy?

Here’s how.

From a girl who has it.

Have you ever felt awkward or uncomfortable when someone tells you they have epilepsy?

Or are you someone with epilepsy who wants someone to understand how to support them?

I’ve seen people react in a million different ways over the years.

But the more “complex” side of support is knowing what to do next.

It isn’t actually complicated.

It’s as simple as being curious, actively listening, being proactive, and showing empathy.

Here are some of the tips I’d give people if they want to show real support to a friend or family member.

A little goes a long way.

It’s common to worry about “getting it wrong” but there are simple things you can do to help.

Start by listening hear their words – listen to what they say, not just what you expect to hear.

Sit with the silence – don’t rush to fill the quiet.

Presence speaks louder than advice.

Embrace awkwardness.

Respond with care – reflect what you heard.

Ask gentle questions.

Stay with them.

The bottom line: Presence changes everything.

Never invalidate their feelings their fear, grief and frustration are real.

Try not to minimise it with: “at least it’s not worse” or “you’ll be fine.” never minimise their emotions.

Do your own research understand their epilepsy type – each type is different.

Knowing the details of which one helps you support them better.

Learn their seizure types – focal, tonic-clonic, absence seizures...

Each has its own signs and needs.

Know their triggers – sleep, stress, flashing lights, missed meds.

Awareness prevents panic.

The bottom line: Give us a break from explainations.

Learn how to care for them after a seizure recovery position (if tonic-clonic) – keep the space around them safe.

Ease them onto their side post-seizure.

Stay calm - focus on being reassuring – easy to say, hard to do!

Stay with them and be kind.

Confusion is normal.

Don’t give them food or drink – nothing in their mouth until fully recovered.

And don’t put your hand in their mouth either!!

Call emergency services and/or ambulance – if seizure lasts 5+ minutes, repeats, causes injury, or it’s their first.

Source: Epilepsy society & NHS, 2025.

Always follow their own care plan if they have one.

Don’t stop showing up.

Consistency is everything.

Support isn’t a one-time conversation.

Check in on the quiet days too.

You can’t see or hear everything.

You can’t fix it.

But patience, empathy, and understanding go a long way.

Know someone with epilepsy?

Share this with your family & friends.

The more the people around them understand, the less alone they feel.