Telling my partner about epilepsy wasn’t the hardest part.

When asked "how do you tell your partner/someone you're dating about epilepsy?" I now feel like the question should be "what do you tell them?".

After 15 years and now sharing it on the internet, I feel like I can tell anyone that I have epilepsy.

But telling a partner how this truly impacts me wasn't something I'd even thought about until recently.

And it's not just about me now.

It's a partnership.

Epilepsy deeply impacts me and therefore is bound to impact him.

It requires a partner that's willing to listen, learn, and is patient.

Because it's not just the seizures. #epilepsyawareness #relationships #invisibledisability #chronicillness #love saying “I have epilepsy” was difficult.

Explaining how it actually impacted me (and us) was much harder.

I had to let him in.

I’d been living with it alone for years, but now my reality would become part of his.

And he needed to understand what that meant.

I gave him clarity by explaining what epilepsy feels like.

Not the biology of it.

The actual feelings of fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and grief.

Seizure fear is now shared.

He became another person that’s experiencing the fear.

Worrying about when and where and what to do.

And it’s not just the seizures.

Epilepsy runs so deep.

Much deeper than I’d realised.

I had to explain the side effects, the anxiety, and exhaustion.

He’s now impacted by my needs.

Sleep and rest aren’t optional.

My stress comes with serious consequences that his doesn’t.

Telling your partner can change everything.

But don’t just tell them your diagnosis.

Tell them what it’s like to really live with epilepsy.