The honest truth about epilepsy: You can “accept” it and still fight it

I feel like this concept is almost as complicated as epilepsy itself.

The constant back and forth between what feels like acceptance and you wanting to have what feels like a “normal” life.

Instead of thinking you can only feel one or the other, the reality is accepting you can fluctuate constantly between both states - and that is OK!

Give yourself some grace.

Chronic illness doesn’t (usually) stop and it doesn’t (usually) stop changing either.

I didn’t realise that both could be true and that there’s nothing wrong with the fluctuation between these feelings.

Some days, I'm building a life alongside epilepsy.

Other days, I'm still trying to prove it hasn't beaten me.

On the good days I accept what epilepsy means I abide by my triggers.

I change plans, rest, repeat.

But sometimes I want to push back.

Because acceptance doesn’t mean that: I don’t get frustrated I don’t grieve what I’ve lost I don’t imagine a life without epilepsy I’m always at peace with the limitations of epilepsy the relationship I have with epilepsy today isn’t the same as it was 10 years ago.

And that relationship can change again.

Because life changes.

And no two days are the same.

And maybe this is what true acceptance of epilepsy is.

Accepting that your needs, your body, your emotions, and your perspective will change.

Your life doesn’t stand still.

And you shouldn’t have to either.

Don’t wait for the day you’ve finally accepted epilepsy.

Because one version of acceptance doesn’t exist.